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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

a bit of grieving

not in any melodramatic, a bad thing happened, or you should be worried about me kind of way, but I find myself taking time to be sad today, sad for what might have been.

I had my ultrasound this week and boy-by #2 is on its way. I'm not dissapointed, per say-- it's not that kind of sadness (and I imagine if boy-by had been girl-by I'd still be a bit sad). It's more sadness for the loss of possibility. I think there's something to be said, after all, for not finding out. The practical side of me who's hung on to box after box of baby clothes, however, had to know. So, I'm grieving a bit today for the little girl that won't get to a part of our family even as I celebrate the little boy who's on his way.

(Although boy-by #1 is still adamant he's getting a baby sister, but there's plenty of time to help him see baby brothers are cool too)

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